Why were Dave Johnson and I in the back of a police car this weekend? Well, if you think we were trying to imitate celebrities by getting a DUI, you're wrong. We were actually just warming up and getting a ride as my car got towed into a nearby parking lot.
For those of you who are not familiar with my vehicle's list of ailments, here is a convenient list of its aesthetic problems and their causes...
Dented Back Passenger Side Door - Kentucky Text Girl.
Dented Back Driver Side Door - Drunk bar lady.
Dented Front Driver Side Door - 14 Year old's thrusting power.
Removable Hood - Duke's of Hazzard Slide
Cracked Windshield 1 - Duke's of Hazzard Slide Casualty
Windshield Frame Damage - Duke!
Cracked Windshield 2 - Frame damage.
Missing Passenger Side Mirror - Unsuspecting Deer Head
Dented Roof - Upright Bass Groove
Dead Tail Light - ???
After a great Friday in Vevay, Indiana playing at First Friday and Cuzz's, and an interesting Saturday and Sunday in Detroit, Michigan, we were pretty excited to get back home and sleep in a familiar environment. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen.
After getting off the highway to get gas, and realizing that the gas station was, in fact, not right off of that exit, (scary, huh?) we decided to let the GPS direct us to the gas station. As I neared an "intersection," I was told to make a right, so naturally I did. Little did I know that this was not the "road" that ol' Spot (yeah, we named the TomTom)was talking about. No, it was a train track.
Before I could react, we slipped down into the gravel. It may have been only a few inches deep, however my car sucks (never buy a Kia) and only has about 3 inches of clearance between the ground and frame. We were pretty desperate to get off of the train tracks, for obvious reasons, so I had Dave Johnson go out and push the car. I revved the engine, but to no avail. Naturally, I revved harder, hoping to make some sort of progress. Then I heard an explosion and DJ yelling "Ow". Of course, I did what anyone would have done in that situation. I laughed at Dave.
Apparently a rock flew up and hit him in the knee. That was pretty funny. Anyway, we expected to see a blown tire, but instead we saw a blown tire AND the fender sticking up at a 90 degree angle. This didn't make any sense at first, then I remembered that Kia's dent when you breathe on them . We were still stuck on train tracks. I guess it was time to call 9/11
As the phone was ringing we were pulling all of our equipment out of the car, just in case the worst did happen, and it did obliterate my Kia. I kind of wish it did. As I was talking to the 911 lady, she told me they were going to stop the trains. Naturally, it was about that time that I heard one coming. I was pretty freaked out, I'm not going to lie, but lucky for us, the train was going down the east/west track, and we were on the north/south track.
Anyway, to make the rest of this long story short... The cop came, and he was a great guy. There were some pretty shady guys who towed our car that charged us an outrageous amount to go two miles. We were pretty desperate though. We ended up having to stay in a hotel and get a new tire by taking off my rim and taking it to the used tire place. The tow cost us more than the hotel room and tire combined. We made it back alive, minus a fender.
The things we go through to play music....